Helplessness and Humility

 I have written before about having nothing to offer a friend in trouble but love and empathy. Yesterday, I spoke to a dear friend who went through a pretty messy family situation a few months back. Today, I spoke to a friend who has been in jobs hell for the past few months and in a purgatory for the past two. I had been pushing her to take better care of herself by exercising and eating better. Today, after hearing about her latest setback I was left speechless. Not being able to help or advise is both a helpless and humbling feeling. Sometimes advising someone to practice "self-care" or being "kind to themselves" feels like telling them to stay on a treadmill that keeps going faster. I feel like I am fortunate that my treadmill is coasting at a manageable pace. If it went faster all my talk of self-care and emotional resilience would go out the window. I know there are people who can take withstand with grace and fortitude blows that would fell most people. I am not one of them. Sometimes kindness to oneself or self-care does involve not pushing yourself to do both when life mows you down. You will get up, but in your own time. But, there is a chance that you might not, or worse, someone dear to you may not. And there is nothing you can do about it.