Post-Vacation Doldrums

 I have realised that solitude is a necessary condition for blogging. Solitude was in short supply in the past three weeks—hence my blogging hiatus—as my parents were visiting me from India. Now, I am having a case of post-vacation doldrums. I felt a bit cramped during their visit as my apartment is not large enough for more than two people, especially when they don’t have independent lives. This thread of thought got me thinking about journalism college, when I was staying with four other men in a two bed-room apartment, which was only slightly bigger than my current one bedroom apartment. We also had two female friends who would spend most of their time at my place. I don’t remember feeling very cramped then. But, that was almost twenty years ago and I hadn’t had a bedroom to myself in years. I also didn’t know that bad company is worse than no company (to be clear, the company during journo school was great). But, cramped I did feel during my parents’ visit and I am relieved to have my space back. So, now I am in the past-vacation doldrums (blues is too strong a word). I am relieved that the holiday, as enjoyable as it was, is over, but I am not ready to go back to life. This feels like one of the ‘vacation from the vacation’ kind of things.

Driving Test

 I was going to write a blog post last evening or this morning about my attempts to calm myself before my driving test today. I was going to write about an expression in Marathi that means “do not hurry”, which is an oblique way of saying “do not panic”. But do not panic is useless advice to someone prone to panicking, so the useful advice is not to hurry. Slow down, and you will panic less. I remember my coach saying it during an interschool badminton sports meet when I was 13. For racquet games especially it is eminently reasonable advice as the haste to finish the point by forcing a winner can lead to what they call in tennis parlance as “unforced errors”. But, because I was running short on time, I decided to do an anxiety mediation instead.

I managed to keep my nerve in the test and passed. One of my aims before I turned 40 was to get a car and a license to feel more like an adult. That aim has now been achieved and it feels like an anti-climax. There is no jubilation, no huge surge of relief. If I had failed I could have kept driving on my Indian license. Yes, it is not advisable to do so in the current political climate, but a couple of months ago I was dead against getting a car of fear of being deported for traffic violations. But, that bridge I had already crossed, inspired by the chutzpah of some first-year PhD students in my department. I had decided that until I am in the US, I will try to live as full a life as possible. Or else I might as well go back voluntarily. And, it feels good that my driving skills have been validated by a representative of the commonwealth of Massachusetts.

First Night in 114 King Street

 Yesterday, was brutal because it was a double move. My colleague and his partner were moving to the same town as me, so we first moved their stuff and then came back for my stuff in the same truck. My first impressions of my new place were not great either. It was very hot--the flipside of having a bright cheerful apartment with a lot of windows. And, the traffic was much louder than I remembered it from the viewing. Not to mention that the bedroom door was hanging from the top hinge. From a functional perspective, my previous apartment was better. Lots of storage and kitchen counter space, and modern fittings. It was also a 10-minute cycle ride from the university. It is tempting to keep the status quo if it is bearable, especially if the future is laden with uncertainty. But, I had decided that functionality is over-rated and I should aspire to a better quality of life. So, here I am, in the town that I call a mini-Bristol.