New Cycle Ordered!

 When I got in to uni last morning, I started looking up second-hand bike shops. Then, I suddenly remembered that my uni, like most employers, has a cycle to work scheme, and I looked it up. One thing lead to another, and I ended up choosing a bike to buy, and signing up for the scheme. Today, When the approval came through, I went ahead and ordered the bike. As someone who is quite indecisive, I am quite proud of myself. My current cycle is an entry-level hybrid, and the most charitable way of describing it is it moves when I pedal my feet. But, I haven't bothered to maintain it because its cheap, and its a bit worse for wear after five years of use. Cycling is not a pleasurable experience with it, and that was fine until I was commuting to UWE. Now, the ride to uni and back feels like a slog. I deserve better, and I can afford better. I didn't have the patience to scour second-hand bike shops in the hope of finding a bike that would exactly fit my needs. So, I just went for it. I am trying to have a more healthy attitude towards money, which is fodder for another post. 

'I Want Someone Who Makes Me Laugh'

 This is one of the most common answers to the "What are you looking for?" prompt on Hinge. I used to roll my eyes when I saw it because my first reaction was it reifies the stereotype that guys are supposed be funny and women are supposed t be pretty, and guys are supposed to make women laugh. But, on second thoughts, I may be wrong. Compatibility of sense of humour is so very important in a good friendship or a romantic relationship. Broad agreement on what we find funny and what we don't find funny is a sign that we are in the company of a kindred spirit. Laughter is as spontaneous a burst of emotion as any other, and we are at our most vulnerable and least guarded when we laugh.  Compatibility of sense of humour is a form of intimacy. It is one of that chief ingredients of that all-important chemistry.

Keep The Faith

 As I was leaving, my physio told me to keep the faith. He is my fourth physio I have seen in the two years since my shoulder started giving me trouble. I have been seeing him for two months and progress has been patchy. Just like progress with my PhD. I will surely need faith to get through it. So, basically I need a lot of faith. Maybe having faith is something that can be learned and turned into a habit? 

Incomprehension

 I got an email from a student over the weekend whose research proposal I had graded. He had not understood my comments, and after reading his email I didn't understand what he hadn't understood. Neither did I understand his other questions. He is clearly not a native speaker of English, but things are not much better with those who are. As a former journalist, I take great pains to ensure that my communication is clear and comprehensible.  And, as a teacher, one has to take great pains to try to understand what students are saying or writing. It does feel like a  futile task because comprehension doesn't seem to a consideration for most people when they communicate. They don't try to put themselves in the shoes of their reader and read back their communication. A few weeks ago, I read a tweet about how obfuscation is  a handy tool of the intellectually lazy. If people can't understand what you are saying, and you have some standing, they will keep mum. but, if they can understand what you are saying, they can see the merits and faults more clearly. Clarity and intellectual rigour are intertwined. That is all very nice, but how does this stop me from tearing my hear out when communicating with students? I suppose I should learn not to expect them to understand everything I say. That is not an excuse to write gibberish., just a reminder to cut myself some slack. 

To Be Or Not To Be On A Dating App

Its been three weeks since I rejoined dating apps, and I swing between ruing and condoning my decision. Shouldn't I be focussing on getting my life in order frist? Finishing my PhD, finding another place to stay, etc. On the other hand, a) Is my life really that disorderly? b) Will it ever be orderly enough in the near future? Will there ever come a time when I feel prepared to date. On the first question, I am of sound mental and physical health, as are all my near and dear ones, and I am gainfully employed. Yes, of course, there are parts of my life that I would like to change but who doesn't? I gave up pursuing a romantic prospect last year to concentrate on my PhD, and I don't think it did much good. As for the second question, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and I am in a precarious profession. That time in the future when I feel tranquil and stable enough to seek love might be elusive. At the same time, the pursuit of love on online dating entails significant emotional labour, and the question of whether it is the right time or whether I am ready to provide the emotional labour at that point in time are two separate ones. The answer to the first could be yes, and the answer to the second could be no. For the time being, I have decided to stay on the apps at least until my subscription runs out. But, if it starts to get too much, I may quit earlier. I have decided to log out of the apps in the morning and log in in the evening, to prevent myself from checking it too often. I tried it yesterday, and it worked. 

The Company of Non-Economists

 This afternoon, I attended a study group in which I was the only economist. And, I realised that I miss and prefer the company of non-economists. Most economists would probably know as little about my area of economics as the non-economists present today. But their attitude would be vastly different. Non-economists are generally kinder, humbler and have their heart in the right place.