Interview Tomorrow

 The 24 hours till 4:30 pm today were harrowing. Writing about instant regret in yesterday's post did nothing to make it go away. I woke up at 4 am today, having made up my mind that I would go to uni at dawn today and record another video. Thankfully, better sense prevailed and I did not bow to my anxiety. I realised that recalling the video would only have been justified if there was a howler. Since that was not the case, it was best to just let it be. But, even after the video deadline passed, my anxiety did not lift. I was afraid the aftershocks of the anxiety blitz due to the video would hurt my interview prep. It was only after a mock interview with a friend in the late afternoon, which went well, did my anxiety finally ease. The stakes are high, this is my best shot at landing a job and nerves are part of the game. Job interviews are stressful by definition and are not meant to be enjoyed. They are meant to be endured. No wonder it didn't raise any eyebrows when I told some people how I was more nervous than normal. Nerves are bound to be there and it no use fighting them. Earlier in the day, I told some friends that I didn't know whether I was nervous because I want this job really badly or subconsciously don't want this job at all. Now is not the time to fathom my inner life. Now is not the time to make reply, now's not the time to reason why.