I was hoping to have the news about the job today, so that I could have had the weekend to cope with being proud but stressed or humbled but relieved. The plan was to come home this evening and induce tears whatever the outcome. The past few weeks have been hairy and I had decided that I needed some winter cleaning. When the job news didn't arrive, I decided to do the cry anyway. I pretty much have a drill in place. I start with a meditation session that is reserved for this occasion. Then, I watch youtube videos of children suffering from cancer lip-syncing to Rachel Patten's Fight Song and Katy Perry's Roar. And, if all goes to plan, I start shaking with emotion, and hot tears start rolling down my cheek. Tears must be heavy, because I immediately feel lighter. I make no apologies for describing this self-care tool in such utilitarian terms. Crying need not always be a spontaneous outpouring of emotion. It can be planned and scheduled. For people who are not quick to tears, it can also be induced. It makes me feel better and I only able to cry if I am feeling weighed down by pent-up emotions so it is not completely contrived.
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