The issue off one of my housemates using had been gnawing at my mind, despite my best efforts to shrug it off. This morning, I noticed that a jar of coffee I had bought a few weeks ago. I don't even remember if I opened it, or whether it was my housemate. The next thing I knew I had decided to tell him not to use my stuff. I would of course put it in milder terms--something like "Do you min if we don't use each other's stuff?". But, there is only so much you can do to take the edge of "Keep your paws away from my stuff". When I heard him in the kitchen, I went downstairs to chat with him. He had already made his coffee, so I didn't know if he had used my powder or his own. I simply told him if he minded putting his stuff in other cupboard. I mumbled something about how it would help avoid confusion about what stuff was whose, but I think he barely head me. I started taking stuff out of my cupboard and asking if it was his. Sensing some tension in the air, I immediately tried to make some small talk.
When I think about it, I shouldn't have felt uneasy laying down some boundaries. We are not friends, just housemates, he is untidy and I have never offered him use of my stuff. He assumed that because he didn't mind others using his stuff, others wouldn't mind either. He simply decided to start storing his stuff in my cupboard. Yes, I should have told him at that point, but doesn't everyone try to be more easy-going than they actually are? And, I didn't know at the point that him storing stuff in my cupboard would also mean him treating my stuff as his own. But, I am glad I didn't tell him not to use my stuff, because it could well have turned into "I didn't use your stuff! Yes, you did". Too much unpleasantness for my liking. So, I hope he gets the message that since we have different cupboards, he really doesn't have reason to go pawing in mine.
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