During the previous bank holiday at the end of May, I had written that by the time the next bank holiday rolls around I would be close to submitting my PhD, and it would be smooth sailing. How wrong I was!! I have spent three months in a conceptual fog that has only grown thicker with time, and I feel like I am no closer to submitting my PhD then I was three months ago, and much less optimistic. The end feels just around the corner but the corner is actually a pillar which I keep going around and arriving at exactly the same space. If there was one way to describe my progress, or at least how I view it, it would be spinning around in circle. Having got that lament out of the way, it is time to come to the actual story. The story isn't how wrong I was about my prediction three months ago. The story is how okay I am despite having the most frustrating three months of my life. I come to this bank holiday with no great plans for the long weekend, and the looming move of a close friend to another city. And, yet, I feel cheerful, determined to have a good break. I plan to work on my job application and not think about my PhD unless my mind drifts there. And, only if my mind drifts there, not out of a sense of panic. Yes, my life is far from perfect, and bigger troubles may lie ahead, but I am doing the best I can and approaching life with as much positivity and good cheer that I can muster. Surely, there are worse ways to be?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment