Housemates

 I never imagined a day would come when bonking Betty would not be my most annoying housemates. That honour now goes to the Irish guy. Earlier this evening, I experienced for the first time a fire alarm going off in England because he was frying burgers to a cinder. Earlier in the day, I was racking my brains to find a way to tell him not to use my food containers. He has plonked some rice into my biggest food container and popped it into the fridge, where I am guessing it will stay until its starts turning brown. He is not ig on private property and keeps telling me I should feel free to use his stuff, so it feels churlish to make him empty the container. But, he is just annoying, my new housemate is weird. Two days ago, he pulled me aside to ask me if he could get into trouble with the law because the Irish guy smokes weed. and, his second question was if he could get into trouble if the Irish guy hid drugs in his room. and, of course, Betty has been quiet as a mouse, like she usually is between explosions. A friend tells me I could write a book with all my housemates stories. At least, I can still find humour in my housing situation most of the time. Annoying housemates are any day preferable to adversarial housemates, who are any day preferable to adversarial live-in landlords.