Juddering

 I learnt a new word from my first visit to my latest physio today--juddering. It means to shake like a engine would when it is stalling. For some of the new exercises he taught me, I will know I am in a new position when my shoulder starts juddering. And, I suppose, I will know that my shoulder is improving when the juddering reduces in intensity. Of all the physios I visited, he seemed to be the most competent. he is a shoulder expert and I had considered seeing him before I went to my previous physio. But he had a long waiting list, and at that point of time, I was not in a good place mentally and physically. I decided I couldn't wait to do something about my shoulder so I cancelled my appointment with him. Even at the time, I knew I might regret it later. And, now, it is easy to kick myself for the money and time expended on the previous physio. But, the most pointless thing in the world is 20/20 hindsight coupled with amnesia about your previous mental, physical and emotional states. We hold our past selves to higher standards of  stoicness and rationality than our current selves. January and February were difficult months for me and I did my best to cope. Sure, I made some decisions which turned out to be the wrong ones. So what? This is not the first wrong decision I made and it won't be the last. Its no use crying over split milk especially when the floor has been wiped clean and you have opened a new carton. 

On a completely different note, this is my 1000th post. The fact that I have reached this milestone in about three and a half years since I resumed blogging means I have been extremely regular. Not only that, after turning out 247 posts in 2018 and 244 posts in 2019, I was extremely prolific in the annus horribilis I of 2020, churning out 292 posts. I reckon I will end up with a similar number this year, which has been comparably horrible to last year. I am a sucker for milestones but the 1000th post milestone is the biggest one I have celebrated so far. The next 1000 milestone is at least 3 years away, assuming I keep blogging regularly. Who know what life will be like three years from now or if I will even be alive. And, in any case, 2000th post doesn't have the same zing to it as 1000th post. For a comparable zing, I will have to wait for my 10000th post, by which time I will be well into my twilight years and global atmospheric temperatures may be at least 3-4C higher, and all the carnage that comes with that.