Vipassana

 Today, started on a hairy note and continued that way for most of the day. I woke up to the sound of Betty coughing her lungs out, and she wouldn't stop. Immediately, my mind jumped to the conclusion that Betty had caught the super-contagious Indian strain of Covid and would pass it on to me if I wasn't careful. i cursed Betty for finding a new way to torment me, and the My anxiety levels remained high through the day, not aided by the fact that I wasn't able to work on my thesis. Towards evening, I started feeling a little cold, and immediately I thought I had caught Covid even though I wasn't feverish. I was struggling to find ways to relax, or at least distract myself. So, after dinner I decided to "sit with my anxiety"--just sit cross-legged with my eyes closed. I wasn't focussing on anything, not even my breath although the yoga training would kick in from time to time and my attention would turn to my both. I didn't set a stopwatch or a timer, simply noting what time I had sat down. I felt at peace during the 18-odd minutes that I sat there--free of any expectations, divorced from all forms of stimuli, just being. As Adrienne would call it, moments of exquisite stillness. And, then I remembered the 10-day Vipassana course I had attended 10 years ago to find relief from my persistent headaches. Many people who take the rigorous meditation course report magical benefits, but that had not been my experience. However, I had really enjoyed the one-hour recorded lectures by the founder of the school that they would play for us evening. Sure enough, the lectures are on youtube, so I decided to play the first day's lecture. As luck would have it, I heard Betty arrive home in the middle of the lecture and promptly start grizzling as though testing my equanimity. I managed to get through the lecture, despite's betty's interruption and even enjoyed it. I have resolved to meditate for 20-30 minutes every morning or evening, based on Vipassana teachings. I don't have any lofty goals, but I could definitely use more peace in my life. Let's see how that goes.