I don't advocate for a moment being passive-aggressive in your dealings with people close to you. PAness in this context can be corrosie. But, there is a case to be made for being passive-aggressive with people not close to you in some situations. In such situations, being passive breeds resentment against the people who have pissed you off, but, more importantly, resentment against yourself for not standing up to them. ON the other hand. aggression for the sake of salvaging self-respect is a risky move. If the other person doesn't take too kindly to it, the war sirens go off. If you are conflict-averse like I am, that's not a preferable situation at all. On the other hand, one can avoid the resentment that comes with passivity and the risks of a full-blown conflict. one can convey displeasure but not in such strong terms that you cannot plausibly deny it. And, you don't go to war with the person. And, I'm a bigger supported of being PA in your actions rather than words. I will leave you to guess how I practice this in my house.
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