Crisis of Confidence

 This evening, as I was researching the Cambridge department that I plan to apply to, the confidence drained from me. Most of the people working there have degrees from Cambridge. Those that have unconventional career paths like mine have impressive backstories. Like a PhD in physics from Cambridge followed by a PhD in historical anthropology also from Cmabridge, or twenty years spent working in an investment bank. I, on the other hand, have never been accused of being a high-achiever.

I have had enough episodes of confidence crises to know that it is silly to take decisions on what could eb a momentary fall in confidence. Of course, the Cambridge is a long shot, and to be honest, after going through the background of the people there, I am not too enthusiastic about the job. But, I am in a niche field, and there are very few places where I will feel at home. At some point in time, I will have to blaze some trails if I want to stay in academia. So, I am going to sleep on it instead of abandoning the plan. On Saturday, I am going to try to write a motivation letter. I have enough on my plate, so if the motivation letter is heavy going, I won't be able to give it too much time. And, I know there is no point in turning in a half-hearted application. With my (comparatively) unimpressive background, I don't stand a chance unless my motivation letter makes their jaw drop.