Covid Rage

 I have experienced bouts of Covid rage infrequently over the past few months, but none as strong as today's. It started with being ticked off by marshals and shop assistants for gonig the wrong way on the stairs and not sanitizing my hands. I have always felt people who are rude to shop assistants and minders are twats, but this morning I felt the anger rise in me like a volcano. What was worse is the lower the status of the person confronting me, the angrier I felt. I managed to quell my anger, even though I was a split second away from saying something snippy. When there is a power differential, it is so easy to take out your anger on someone less powerful. And so unfair.

But, my rage really bubbled over in the afternoon. It took me by surprise, because I had just returned from a very relaxing walk in the woods near uni. I came back to find my colleague's housemate comfortably ensconced in our shared office. My colleague had introduced him when they were sitting outside. I had wondered at the time what he was doing there, but hadn't given it much thought. I was sething with rage for some reason, so much so that I quickly realised I wasn't going to get any work done and stormed out of the office. I later texted my colleague checking that he was only going to be there today. She relied in the affirmative. I don't know if that was the truth or whether she decided to rescind her invitation to her housemate because I had expressed my displeasure. I don't care. I know I over-reacted and that I can be very territorial about my space. yes, my colleague was wrong to invite him without even checking with me. In normal circumstances, I wouldn't have minded but Covid is great cover for my misanthropy. 

I am glas I messaged my colleague and clarified the matter instead of waiting to see if the housemate would turn up tomorrow. Hair-trigger reactions are generally bad, but not all anger should be quelled. Anger sometimes spurs necessary and justified action which in normal circumstances one would have been too ashamed to carry out. It is best if angers spurs measured action. but seeing Covid rage for it is is itself progress. I can watch out for it in coming weeks and months, reducing the chances of me doing something stupid in anger.