Saturday, April 17, 2021

Being Super-Selective

 When you are super-selective about something, could it be that you actually don't want it? As I keep an eye on the job market, I notice myself looking for reasons not to apply. Maybe because I am too preoccupied with finishing my PhD and don't have the mental capacity for a job application at the moment. Or, maybe I don't want to remain in academia. The same could be said about my behaviour. In the three days since I went back on them, I must have right-swiped on roughly 1 in 25 men. I realise that I am stacking the odds of getting matches against myself, especially as a man on dating apps. Girls can afford to be super-selective on dating apps, and still get a good number of matches. I have no illusions about me being a catch, but neither am I a wastrel. But, I don't want to swipe right on people for the sake of getting matches and losing interest as soon as we match. It has took me a long time to realise that there is no shame in rejecting people you don't find physically attractive and/or non-interesting instead of matching and then slinking or fading away. But, maybe I am subconsciously raising the bar so high that no one can meet it, or rather, that the few women who meet it have no interest in me. Who knows?

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