When I was struggling with anxiety a few years back, there were two symptoms, among others, that troubled me the most. One was light-headedness, the other was insomnia. I have never been a big sleeper, but this was something else. Sometimes, as soon as I fell asleep I would feel I was falling down and wake up with a start. Other nights, I would struggle to fall sleep or wake up in the middle of the night feeling anxious and struggle to go back to sleep. Getting caught in the cycle of sleeplessness is quite frustrating, because the more you stress about sleep, the more difficult it is to sleep well. There have been a few nights when I didn't sleep a wink. The days that followed those nights were horrible: I would feel groggy, have blurry vision and apart from feeling tired and anxious.
Till a few nights ago, I hadn't had trouble sleeping, apart from the odd bad night. I have slept quite poorly over the past few days. What's the reason?Take your pick--a nail infection I was stressing about, an electricity problem in my shared house, and a pandemic which is killing a few thousand people in the world everyday. I thought I was dealing with the crisis quite well, but turns out my victory lap was premature.
Sleeplessness is unnerving, but it is a devil known to me. And, I am sure countless others are having the same problem as our world faces the biggest crisis in generations. I am trying to do the best I can in the circumstances and that is all I can do. I have tamped down my fitness routine (although I might have to tamp it down further); and despite all the fear and anxiety about my own health and those of my loved ones, with my housemates every cough sending chills down my spine, I am managing to work on my thesis, blog regularly, eat healthy, do yoga regularly.
More pain, fear and anxiety might be in store for us over the next few weeks. There might be sleeplessness nights, numerous anxious moments, I or my friends, family or housemates might catch Covid-19. I might contemplate my mortality so many times that I would get sick of it. And, I will discover reserves of love, kindness, hope, wisdom and fortitude that I never knew I had. It will be an intense few weeks. I will feel emotions I have never felt before, gain new insights, become wiser, just like countless others. I will try to acknowledge and accept all that I feel--the good, the bad and the ugly--even if I can't bring myself to embrace it.
Till a few nights ago, I hadn't had trouble sleeping, apart from the odd bad night. I have slept quite poorly over the past few days. What's the reason?Take your pick--a nail infection I was stressing about, an electricity problem in my shared house, and a pandemic which is killing a few thousand people in the world everyday. I thought I was dealing with the crisis quite well, but turns out my victory lap was premature.
Sleeplessness is unnerving, but it is a devil known to me. And, I am sure countless others are having the same problem as our world faces the biggest crisis in generations. I am trying to do the best I can in the circumstances and that is all I can do. I have tamped down my fitness routine (although I might have to tamp it down further); and despite all the fear and anxiety about my own health and those of my loved ones, with my housemates every cough sending chills down my spine, I am managing to work on my thesis, blog regularly, eat healthy, do yoga regularly.
More pain, fear and anxiety might be in store for us over the next few weeks. There might be sleeplessness nights, numerous anxious moments, I or my friends, family or housemates might catch Covid-19. I might contemplate my mortality so many times that I would get sick of it. And, I will discover reserves of love, kindness, hope, wisdom and fortitude that I never knew I had. It will be an intense few weeks. I will feel emotions I have never felt before, gain new insights, become wiser, just like countless others. I will try to acknowledge and accept all that I feel--the good, the bad and the ugly--even if I can't bring myself to embrace it.
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