I read a fascinating piece on white envy, which was written in the aftermath of the murder of a successful black family in France, with racism being the admitted motive. The piece was about white envy as the driving force for many white-on-black crimes The author of the piece had inspired another blog post about the dynamic between race and attractiveness. But what got me thinking was the difference between jealousy and envy.
If I experience jealousy, I experience a fear of loss or a sense of deprivation which I cannot tolerate, I therefore seek to possess the object triggering the jealous feelings. If one experiences envy on the other hand, there is a sense of being bereft rather than deprived. I am not sure one can obtain what is envied or at least that one thinks one can obtain it, not without doing harm. One therefore makes no move to possess but, to spoil.
In other words, jealousy is aspirational, envy is toxic bitterness. As someone who struggles with jealousy occasionally, I was intrigued. Now, whenever I feel an emotion that vaguely resembles jealousy/envy I will be pushed to ponder which of those it is.
If I experience jealousy, I experience a fear of loss or a sense of deprivation which I cannot tolerate, I therefore seek to possess the object triggering the jealous feelings. If one experiences envy on the other hand, there is a sense of being bereft rather than deprived. I am not sure one can obtain what is envied or at least that one thinks one can obtain it, not without doing harm. One therefore makes no move to possess but, to spoil.
In other words, jealousy is aspirational, envy is toxic bitterness. As someone who struggles with jealousy occasionally, I was intrigued. Now, whenever I feel an emotion that vaguely resembles jealousy/envy I will be pushed to ponder which of those it is.
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