Every few weeks, the right-wing mafia that is in federal government perpetuates a fresh outrage, which leaves me shaking with outrage. I vent on Facebook, am agitated for a day or two and then get on with my life. The last time this happened was at the beginning of January, when a mob attacked JNU and the cops just looked on. This time the cops seem to be competing with the rioters over who can brutalize Muslims more. This morning, I ranted on Facebook and thought that I would get on with my day. But, someone on my FB list replied that the Muslims deserved it, and I lost my head. I spent a good hour pondering the best way to respond. I first decided to ignore, then I decided to write a snarky response with a personal attack,a dn then I decided to block him from FB and Whatsapp. Hats off to those who stick their necks out online, especially women of colour who face the worst abuse. Between the time I wrote the snarky message and blocked the idiot, I was filled with dread about the dirty row that would follow. He would probably say something about me pontificating from abroad, etc. etc. The episode, minor as it was, and the relentless stream of bad news coming out of Delhi, was enough to throw me off my PhD writing.
I know I will get back to work tomorrow, or at least a day after. My survival mechanism will kick in and I will find something else to to distract me or occupy me. But, I wonder what this endless cycle of outrage, agitation and resignation will have on me in the long term. Maybe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. When fascism is vanquished, as it will undoubtedly will, either by itself or its ideological foes, it will leave behind a mental social landscape that is battered but tougher. Or at least that is my hope.
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