Being Too Nice

Today, I was talking to a friend from back home who is being pestered by a guy who is interested in her. She said she had no interested in even being friends with him but he was being persistent. What immediately struck me is the difference in social norms between India and the West. Suck kind of behaviour would definitely be frowned upon here for being super-keen if not outright harassment. But this is not a post about cultural differences. I lectured my friend about how she had to put her well-being first and block the guy if he refused to take the hint. That would be difficult to her, she said, because she was too nice. I almost mansplained her the social conditioning that pushes women to be nice no matter how badly they are treated, but thought the better of it at the last moment. Instead, I gave her a spiel about respect being the cornerstone of any relationship and if he didn't respect her wishes to be left alone, he had no respect for her.
But, later in the evening, it struck me how I would struggle to implement my own advice. Just the other day, I was kicking myself for being too nice to a part-time colleague who is not entitled to a dedicated spot in the PhD room but has made herself at home. I could never ghost anyone on dating apps, and would rather make up a lie to break off contact than disappear. I am not saying I am "too nice" by any means, I am just saying that the fear of avoiding unpleasantness or confrontation often leads me to be nice and later regret it. Sometimes I feel that I have been taken advantage of. But, I don't see myself as a hypocrite for giving my friend advice I would struggle to follow. Yes, it wasier to give advice than to practice what we preach. Which is why we need friends to push us to go against our nature when it will benefit us.