One year ago today, I went rushing back to India. I didn't know it back then but that was me pressing the refresh button, going back to square one. Returning home to start a new journey. From the above lines, it might seem like I was bursting with positivity and hope, but it was the opposite. Going back home was an act of desperation. I knew that going home wouldn't make magically make things right, but I didn't know what else to do. In fact, my health worsened after I got home as I was finally free to unwind and go to pieces.
My recovery (or should I call it a realignment?) started about a month after I got home and is still in progress. Family, friends, a doctor, a counsellor, yoga, an author I hadn't read in years helped me along. Everyone I confided in about my condition, without exception, responded with love and understanding. People I wasn't very close to confided that they had suffered something similar and reassured me that things would get better. To realize my strength, I had to learn to be vulnerable and seek help. I had to put all pride aside.
Looking back, I can say that the last year was a watershed year. I have learned so much, about myself, about life, about people. Despite the fact that I am friendless here and often feel lonely, I feel more at peace with myself than I have felt in years. I don't feel like a different person, but I feel like I am truer to myself now and am gaining the courage to be myself. I have also learned that life is never beyond redemption, that life always give you a second chance if you are so willing.
My recovery (or should I call it a realignment?) started about a month after I got home and is still in progress. Family, friends, a doctor, a counsellor, yoga, an author I hadn't read in years helped me along. Everyone I confided in about my condition, without exception, responded with love and understanding. People I wasn't very close to confided that they had suffered something similar and reassured me that things would get better. To realize my strength, I had to learn to be vulnerable and seek help. I had to put all pride aside.
Looking back, I can say that the last year was a watershed year. I have learned so much, about myself, about life, about people. Despite the fact that I am friendless here and often feel lonely, I feel more at peace with myself than I have felt in years. I don't feel like a different person, but I feel like I am truer to myself now and am gaining the courage to be myself. I have also learned that life is never beyond redemption, that life always give you a second chance if you are so willing.
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