Loneliness and Solitude

Solitude is being alone, loneliness is feeling alone. You don't need to be alone to feel alone. They say the worst thing is feeling lonely in an intimate relationship. Loneliness is not a problem per se, and everyone feels lonely from time to time. But, social isolation is supposed to be the AIDS of my generation, apparently more dangerous than smoking cigarettes. Britain just appointed a minister of loneliness, which would have been commendable if only the government had not been cutting aid to the deprived and the vulnerable in every other respect. 

The burgeoning literature on loneliness holds that loneliness is not a problem until it leads one to start spinning stories about oneself as being unworthy and undeserving of companionship. So, one should make an effort to end one's isolation but also be choosy about how one chooses to socialize so as to not to get frustrated. Easier said than done. From personal experience, I would argue that throwing yourself into social events and then coming out bored and unfulfilled can also be a trigger for harmful story-spinning. Pathologizing loneliness may not be a good idea as it assumes that everyone is the same and needs the same (heavy) dose of companionship. Different people need different qualities and quantities of companionship at different stage of their lives.

I just got back from a half-day walk with a group of internationals. For the second consecutive time, I was thoroughly bored. I didn't feel like talking to people and expounding my views on Bitcoin, about which I am inevitably asked when I say that I am doing a PhD in economics. The walks were something to do on weekends, which tend to drag as I don't have a social life in this city yet. If I stop going to the walks, the empty lonely weekends would presumably weigh on me like a millstone. But as I was returning from today's walk, I felt strangely unconcerned about how I would spend my weekends. There are far worse things than having to spend time by  yourself.