Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Conceptual Mire

Exactly three weeks ago, I wrote a post expressing hope that the conceptual fog that has enveloped my PhD will clear soon. That fog has started to feel like a mire which is pulling me deeper with every passing day. Not only is the end not in sight I feel like the end is moving farther away. For the past two months I have barely written anything, even though I haven't been idle. Most of my time has been spent on doodling images of swans, snails and tortoises as I think about my conceptual framework. I have never been so frustrated in my life as I have been over the past one month. I feel like the only purpose of me showing up every day is to reach my threshold of frustration for the day. Go back home, sleep, turn up the next day and repeat. I wonder how long I can go on like this. Something has to give, right? Either I have a breakthrough with my existing framework or I junk it and adopt a new framework. My supervisor told me she would support another extension, even blame it on her Covid attack. But, can I take more than three months of this purgatory is a big question. I feel like I am trying to knock a wall down by beating my head against it. Exhausting, damaging, and, of course, futile. 

No comments: