Not-My-Probleming

 I have gotten better at not-my-probleming. NMP means drawing boundaries around the stuff you care about and assiduously keeping within those boundaries. Ever since my anxiety reared its head, I have become a bit of a control-or-planning freak. Thankfully, I don't try to exercise control over the lives of others even if I have a strong opinions about how they are leading their lives. But, I do try to control and plan many aspects of my own life. But, aspects of my life naturally overlap with other people's lives--housemates, teaching colleagues, friends. And, when things don't go as planned due to no fault of my own, it can be frustrating. Maybe my personality type internalizes common goals as personal gains, so a group failure feels like a personal failure, even if I contributed more than my own fair share towards the project. I am trying to get into the habit of letting the glass fall to the floor instead of dashing to catch it in mid-air. Often, the person who has knocked down the glass doesn't notice either the glass falling or me catching it, which can be very frustrating. Now, I learning to let the glass fall. I will do what is expected of me, but I won't fret over the outcome, especially if I have little power to change. It doesn't mean completely washing your hands off something. It means marking off your area of concern and taking the attitude that you won't be bothered by something outside of it.