Humour and Bullying

I feel myself slipping into the old pattern of humour that borders on nastiness and I don't like it. Humour is not just about the target. You obviously don't try to make fun of someone who can't or doesn't give it back to you or who is not enjoying it because that is just bullying. A number of stand-up comedies are bullies who like to punch down, and it is not a pretty sight. But, whether your humour comes from a place of affection or contempt also matters. Sometimes, when "funny" people are bored in a group, they entertain themselves by picking on someone in a group. This can quickly get out of hand and after a point people can sense that your jokes are coming from a place of irritation or contempt. It is easy to mask irritation or displeasure with humour, but it is not honest. Either one should express one's displeasure or suck it up and bear it. There is no sense is trying to spare someone's feelings by not expressing your displeasure and then hurting their feelings with your wisecracks. I have been at the receiving end of mild bullying and it is not pleasant. Bullies are insecure themselves but have an air of confidence which they use to undermine other people's sense of confidence. But, one's demons and insecurities are not other people's problems. Neither is one's irritation. One has to to deal with it without making life unpleasant for others.