Having Kids

At the conference in Edinburgh last week, I was chatting with two women when the conversation turned to their children. Since I don't have any children, I was silent. Possibly in an effort to involve me, one of them asked if I had any kids. When I replied in the negative, she remarked that I still had plenty of time.

I was surprised by her remark since she was white British. She had assumed that I had wanted kids, which was odd because English manners dictate that you don't assume anything about anyone. I wasn't offended because I am from India and I am used to people I haven't talked to in years open conversations by asking if I am married.

But staying on the topic of children, there is still the widespread belief, much more so in India but also in the West, that having children is the milestone which marks stability and a sense of purpose in a person's life. This is a little curious given the grave dangers facing our planet. You don't need to be a genius to figure out that the most eco-friendly thing that one can do is not have children, especially in the developed world. No matter how green one's lifestyle, one won't be able to achieve the same resource savings as if one didn't have kids. It is mind-boggling to imagine how many resources a single person consumes during their lifespan. 

This is not to say at all that people who have kids are selfish and don't care about the environment. All I am saying that whether one wants kids or not is an emotional preference that stems from the deep recesses of one's personhood. It not a decision that is reached through rational analysis, although one can deploy innumerable reasons for  or against it. 

But, given the planetary crisis we face, the onus should be on the people who have kids to justify their preference, not those who don't want kids. If everyone stopped procreating it would be a disaster for mankind, but we are already in the middle of a man-made disaster. How about we leave procreation to those who want kids, rather than having it as a norm. Maybe social norms have yet to catch up. On the other hand, me and all my other friends who are single and childless are still quite close to our families. In the future, will the family cease to be the primary stabilization unit in the lives of individuals. That is a topic for another day.