I had a Christmas dinner with the PhD Society at my uni today. I didn't have high expectations of the food or the conversation so I wasn't disappointed. Ours is a small community and most of our research topics are widely disparate, so the common ground is restricted to small talk and gripes about the uni. I had a couple of decent conversations, but nothing scintillating.
Sometimes, I wonder why we voluntarily sign up for experiences that we know we won't particularly enjoy. Maybe not every experience, or even most experiences, are not meant to be enjoyed. Maybe most of our actions are ritualistic--we do something out of habit or because we assume we are supposed to do it. Maybe because we are open to the possibility of enjoyment, however unlikely. Maybe because it reinforces our sense of self. Or maybe because we are lonely and are mostly fine being so but like whales in the ocean we have to surface from time to time to fill our lungs with air before descending back into the comfortable embrace of solitude. Mediocre company makes loneliness more bearable and reminds us that one need not be alone to be feel lonely.
Sometimes, I wonder why we voluntarily sign up for experiences that we know we won't particularly enjoy. Maybe not every experience, or even most experiences, are not meant to be enjoyed. Maybe most of our actions are ritualistic--we do something out of habit or because we assume we are supposed to do it. Maybe because we are open to the possibility of enjoyment, however unlikely. Maybe because it reinforces our sense of self. Or maybe because we are lonely and are mostly fine being so but like whales in the ocean we have to surface from time to time to fill our lungs with air before descending back into the comfortable embrace of solitude. Mediocre company makes loneliness more bearable and reminds us that one need not be alone to be feel lonely.
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