Blogging has started feeling a bit of a chore lately, which is apparent from the length of my recent blogs. I have been struggling to find stuff to write about and feel unsatisfied with what I come up with. Until a few weeks ago, I used to feel a warm glow of satisfaction after writing a substantive (in my opinion) post. This blog isn't supposed to be explicitly therapeutic, but all writing, and especially writing of a personal nature, is a bit therapeutic, I suppose. Maybe the reason I am struggling to blog is life has been quite calm for the past few weeks. I am taking a break from online dating and am learning to interact without expectations, which I find liberating. Maybe angst is good food for thought and when angst levels fall, so does the impetus to write. Not a bad thing at all, but I hope my writing is adopt to these circumstances, because I really enjoy it.
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In the past few months, I have read a few articles lauding the single life, written by "alpha singles". The articles were intelligent and balanced, not pretending that the single life was a blast. But, the authors were invariably female, white, pretty, successful and had a large circle of friends as well as admirers of the opposite sex. Can you be an alpha single if you are not all or even any of those things? I hate the world alpha single because it has a normative connotation--that if you are single you need to be an alpha single, someone eminently desirable, but picky. But, I feel like it is still possible to be comfortably single without any of the above attributes. This is the most comfortable I have been with my single status in years. And, I am not white, female, pretty or having to fend off hordes of girls who want to date me. I don't even have a good friend in the city where I live. I just feel like I have become better at living life on my own terms and having fewer expectations of myself and of other people. At living in the moment, and not thinking about how I can manipulate the moment to achieve a future goal. At not judging interactions by their potential to turn into a friendship. And, this might sound like a cliche but it is liberating to be the master of your own time.
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In the past few months, I have read a few articles lauding the single life, written by "alpha singles". The articles were intelligent and balanced, not pretending that the single life was a blast. But, the authors were invariably female, white, pretty, successful and had a large circle of friends as well as admirers of the opposite sex. Can you be an alpha single if you are not all or even any of those things? I hate the world alpha single because it has a normative connotation--that if you are single you need to be an alpha single, someone eminently desirable, but picky. But, I feel like it is still possible to be comfortably single without any of the above attributes. This is the most comfortable I have been with my single status in years. And, I am not white, female, pretty or having to fend off hordes of girls who want to date me. I don't even have a good friend in the city where I live. I just feel like I have become better at living life on my own terms and having fewer expectations of myself and of other people. At living in the moment, and not thinking about how I can manipulate the moment to achieve a future goal. At not judging interactions by their potential to turn into a friendship. And, this might sound like a cliche but it is liberating to be the master of your own time.
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