Frenetic

Four months ago, I had never thought life would be so busy. I was bemused by people who kept whining that they didn't have enough time. Surely, not every waking minute of their day was occupied? But, now, I can understand how they feel. I am single and don't have any children and I still feel pressed for time. Of course, part of it is pre-deadline stress and it won't last forever. But, it feels like there is so much to do, so much to read, so much to write that those days went time hang heavy like a wet rucksack seem from another lifetime. Being busy has also given me a better appreciation of my supervisor and a changed outlook on what I thought were her poor management skills. When  you are in the thick of action, you are literally always on your feet. I feel like I am in the adult's league, if only for a short while. I remember this feeling--being so immersed in your work that even when you are not working, you are thinking about work. The existential angst goes out of the window and you stop sweating the small stuff in life. Although that can still come and bite you in your weak moments, especially when you are frustrated with work.
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My confidence still hasn't recovered from yesterday's drubbing. But, it has started inching back up. I found a new vein in my research that looks promising and though I still have loads to do over the next two weeks it is work I love. I think if you sit with a problem long enough, you ultimately find a solution. Maybe not the perfect solution, but at least something. Having your confidence shattered makes you a more open person and I am enjoying it. People I had dismissed as being of mediocre intelligence appear bright. You just feel like a nicer person.