These are the words my colleague said to me as I was saying goodbye this afternoon. I am off to Brighton tomorrow to spend some time with my aunt. I was last there for Christmas 2016 and spent a very relaxing three weeks. I had also considered going there around this time last year when life was swirling out of control, but I ran back to India instead.
This time I am not running away. I am looking forward to the visit and also looking forward to returning to Bristol in about two weeks. I feel happy and empowered. There have been tough moments in the three months since I returned to England but I have seen them through and discovered reserves of fortitude and self-acceptance that I didn't know existed. But, I'm ready for a break, because as my colleague said, everyone needs to be looked after from time to time, even when nothing is wrong. You shouldn't wait to take a break until you need it desperately. I am going a few days earlier than originally planned because I had started feeling stressed last week. I felt like I was forcing myself to carry on with the activities that I have identified as serving me well. Yoga, which I usually find quite relaxing, had started to feel like a chore and cooking had become unbearably tedious. When I decided to step back and made my Brighton plan I immediately felt better. Maybe a part of the reason I felt better was appreciation for the fact that I wasn't holding myself to exacting standards and willing to make changes when something wasn't working. That I could stop trying to prove to myself that I could power through life, come what may. The good thing about having gone to pieces is that the next time you spot the cracks when they first appear and can take remedial action. And prevention is always better than cure.
This time I am not running away. I am looking forward to the visit and also looking forward to returning to Bristol in about two weeks. I feel happy and empowered. There have been tough moments in the three months since I returned to England but I have seen them through and discovered reserves of fortitude and self-acceptance that I didn't know existed. But, I'm ready for a break, because as my colleague said, everyone needs to be looked after from time to time, even when nothing is wrong. You shouldn't wait to take a break until you need it desperately. I am going a few days earlier than originally planned because I had started feeling stressed last week. I felt like I was forcing myself to carry on with the activities that I have identified as serving me well. Yoga, which I usually find quite relaxing, had started to feel like a chore and cooking had become unbearably tedious. When I decided to step back and made my Brighton plan I immediately felt better. Maybe a part of the reason I felt better was appreciation for the fact that I wasn't holding myself to exacting standards and willing to make changes when something wasn't working. That I could stop trying to prove to myself that I could power through life, come what may. The good thing about having gone to pieces is that the next time you spot the cracks when they first appear and can take remedial action. And prevention is always better than cure.
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