Friday, April 6, 2018

To Intervene or Not to Intervene

I read a twitter stream yesterday by a woman who had called out a drunk man harassing another woman on the London tube. On being confronted, the drunk man had turned his toxic stream on her, and none of the men in the compartment, even the strong-looking ones, had intervened. The writer was clearly pissed about that. In the comments section below, a man had said that had he been there he wouldn't have intervened either because he didn't want to be punched. The drunkard was more likely to react violently to a man than a woman and at least in this case, he hadn't been violent.
Which was untrue, of course, because he had been verbally violent and abusive. But, it does raise the question of whether the men should have intervened or not. Most men these days aren't primed to fight and even the strong-looking ones might go to great lengths to avoid a physical confrontation. But, I don't think we men realize what it feels to be sexually harassed. To us, they are just words, as long as he didn't touch them, his behaviour was, of course, deplorable, but not dangerous.
I remember the time I was stopped and searched by two policemen in Holland. That was my first experience of racial profiling and I felt quite shaken up, even though the policemen hadn't been rude and had only searched my bag, not my person. I imagine being sexually harassed or sexually assaulted is much much worse. I guess we men don't appreciate the courage it takes most women to go through everyday life without losing their minds--dodging potential assailants, mostly tolerating misogyny because its exhausting to respond to every instance of it. Maybe the least we men can do is show some courage and solidarity on our part when the time comes. Of course, easier said than done. I imagine if I intervene in the situation I will be racially abused and possibly assaulted. Hopefully, I will be able to remember all the brave women that I know and know of who endure much worse for speaking up or speaking out. 

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