Are Indian men bad at handling rejection, especially romantic rejection? The thought came to me as I was consoling a friend who was getting a hard time from some men she wasn't interested in. I told her that Indian men have this enormous sense of entitlement when it comes to women and they have no idea how to handle romantic rejection so they behave horribly with the woman who has rejected them. And, that most Western women wouldn't stand for such behaviour. Of course, men everywhere have a tendency to turn violent when rejected by women, but I am talking about upper middle-class liberal-progressive circles.
I said those things mostly to comfort her, but I later realized that I do believe them. Indian men, and maybe most men from the Global South, are not socialized to deal with romantic rejection. Romantic rejection is a different beast than professional or academic failure. Not necessarily worse, but different. In a culture of arranged marriages, the potential for romantic rejection is much reduced. You may be rejected for being the wrong caste or not earning enough money, but being rejected romantically or sexually has a different sting to it. Or at least, that is what I think. Few people have an innate ability to deal well with romantic rejection. Most of us handle it terribly the first (few) time(s). Eventually, we get better at handling it with grace and dignity. It still hurts a lot, but we learn to put on a calm front even if we are dying inside. And, not lash out at the person who has rejected us. But, in a culture which puts boys on a pedestal, first to be worshiped by their mothers and then by their wives, rejection skills fall by the wayside,
I said those things mostly to comfort her, but I later realized that I do believe them. Indian men, and maybe most men from the Global South, are not socialized to deal with romantic rejection. Romantic rejection is a different beast than professional or academic failure. Not necessarily worse, but different. In a culture of arranged marriages, the potential for romantic rejection is much reduced. You may be rejected for being the wrong caste or not earning enough money, but being rejected romantically or sexually has a different sting to it. Or at least, that is what I think. Few people have an innate ability to deal well with romantic rejection. Most of us handle it terribly the first (few) time(s). Eventually, we get better at handling it with grace and dignity. It still hurts a lot, but we learn to put on a calm front even if we are dying inside. And, not lash out at the person who has rejected us. But, in a culture which puts boys on a pedestal, first to be worshiped by their mothers and then by their wives, rejection skills fall by the wayside,
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