Indian Match-Making

I just finished watching a Netflix reality TV show on a matchmaker in action. The show has set Twitter alight, with scores of people commenting on how it perpetuates patriarchy, misogynism, colourism and, of course, casteism. The fact that three out of its four producers are Americans with no obvious Indian connection is also a little disturbing for me. It makes the institution of arranged marriage seem an even bigger freakshow than it is. I am not, in principle, opposed to the idea of arranged marriage, but I will save my thoughts on that for another post. For now, suffice it to say that the show confirms all my terrible apprehensions about arranged marriage. As someone whose family is progressive and has given up on trying to get him hitched, I can watch the freakshow from afar while counting my blessings that I managed to escape it. But, it is easy to get too negative about Indian society and I have realised that I am strongly prone to this line of thought. Yes, caste, patriarchy, etc. are forbidding structures, but it doesn't mean that there is no room for manoeuvre. People take steps to challenge those structures even if they don't have the language to articulate their challenge. Sometimes, they don't even realise they are challenging it. Even the show in question had some participants who were not entitled, casteist patriarchal knobheads. The adorable college counsellor with an unsavoury family history, the divorced single Mom, etc. And, the upholders of the oppressive structures--the matchmaker in this case--are not as close-minded as one would imagine. I suppose people would prefer to find what or  who they are looking for within the structures but are open to looking beyond them if  unsuccessful. Is that such a bad thing? 





 India has so many 'isms' that it is possible to think of yourself as a revolutionary even if you challenge one of them, while perpetuating the others.