Advice or Venting

I read a post on Facebook which went something like "It took me forty years of living to realize the first question to a friend should be do you want to vent or do you want my advice?". It has taken me a long time to understand that too, and I have written about how I try to avoid slipping into advice-giving mode when a friend calls me with a problem, unless their problem is whether I should do A or B. Giving advice in response to a "What should I do?" can also be tricky because sometimes there are no straightforward solutions and the person seeking help is aware of every single one of them. But, I don't feel powerless either. Let me make it clear that I am no oasis of calm and equanimity, and I am sometimes able to offer support only  because I am very fortunate to not be burdened with the problems that some of my friends have. I have the utmost admiration for them for carrying on in some pretty lousy situations. But coming back to the subject at hand, I don't feel powerless for two reasons. One, because when someone vents to you, they are not just vomiting out their problems, but trying to make sense of them anew. Or at least in some cases they are. Writing and speaking can put thoughts in motion, and  a person may gain a new perspective on their problem just by talking abut it to you. The other reason is it is usually possible to make someone feel better about themselves, unless they are in the depths of depression. By telling them that you don't have any answers to their shitty predicament, but are amazed by their courage and fortitude in the face of it. Make them feel at least a bit better about  themselves by the end of the conversation.