Convincing Others

It is amazing how arguments that seem as irrefutable as slam dunks in your head can wither before a  skeptical audience. Which makes me even more skeptical of logic, which relies on a scaffolding of beliefs to prove a point. I stumbled into a long argument with my parents which swiftly reached a topic that we don't see eye to eye, haven't seen eye to eye on for years and which I don't see the point of debating. My simple point was that the choice to have kids is an emotional choice rather than a pragmatic or logical choice and definitely not a biological imperative. And, I said when middle-class people have children they unintentionally perpetuate inequality in society by passing on their privileges to their children. Child-bearing perpetuates gate-keeping and impedes social mobility. I don't why I though that was an uncontroversial argument and my parents thought it was controversial as hell. Whenever an argument collides with one's world view or one's beliefs about themselves, one rejects it. Especially, if the point being made is unflattering to oneself such as about one's complicity in exploitative structures. For instance, I would reject that people who don't have kids are likely to be more self-centered than people who do. It clashes fundamentally about my believes about myself. My beliefs may change but not because someone hits me with a really convincing argument. The process of belief change is a slow grinding and often traumatic process predicated on an openness to challenge one's beliefs.