Debate vs Discussion

I was in a debate after ages today, and it struck me how angry it made me. I can't remember the last time I debated someone and it was probably the same friend but years ago. It is clear to me that in debates as in most interactions in life, how you say something is almost as important as what you are saying. Form is as important than content. But, I couldn't stop the anger rising in me, which made me very aggressive. If I had kept my cool, I would definitely have been able to better put my points at across. I think I have become used to interacting with people I broadly agree with, so the discussion is quite nuanced. Debating, on the other hand, is all about putting the other person in a box stripped of nuance and trying to bash that box in. Debating with someone who comes from a different ideological, or even worse epistemological position feels like hitting your head against a wall.
I also think I have become used to interacting with women, who are generally much more prepared to listen and who don't doggedly defend their respective positions. 
At the end of the debated, which concluded with me saying I had nothing more to say, my friend said he had enjoyed the debate. Maybe he thought he had won it. I was about to tell him that I had not enjoyed it all, when he said it was a welcome change from a rotten day so I bit my lip. I don't enjoy debates at all, partly because I feel it is a spectacle sport from a different era. Two liberals who had no skin in the game could debate each other till their ears turned read, but liberalism is in its dying throes and no one cares any more what liberals think. The battle is against fascism, and people's lives are at stake.