Back to Bristol

 I went back to the the post I wrote just before I returned to England after my PhD hiatus five years ago. It was also my first post in eight-and-a-half years and marked my return to blogging. The post sounds much more upbeat than I remember feeling at the time. The fact is quite scared to go back to England. I was not sure if I was fit enough mentally or physically to return, but sometimes you just have to quit looking and leap. I was clear that I didn't want to continue living in India, so what alternative did I have? But, I was also afraid that I would go to pieces in England again and come running back to India. But, I didn't and even if I had, it wouldn't be end of the world or even the end of my world. This time I am scared too but not like last year. Last year, all my energies were focused on being able to make it back to Bristol. But I am not in survival mode any more, I am in building more. This evening, my mum asked me what is home for me now? I replied that I need to build more of a home for myself in England. Currently, I am in a place where I definitely don't want to move back to India, but the thought of living in the UK is not particularly pleasant either. I am hoping to change that.