No Good Deed ...

I have always thought of myself as not being particularly disposed to acts of kindness. As a self-absorbed person, I tend to put my well-being first. That is my first reaction when faced with the potential for inconvenience, and I make no apologies for it, because that is how I am wired. But a first reaction need not be the final response. On reflection, I often do decide to inconvenience myself for the sake of others, especially for friends or family. Yes, there is a large gap between what I would do for a friend/family compared to what I would do for an acquaintance. But, sometimes it is better not to be over-generous and then resent yourself and the target of your generosity later. 

Yesterday, I performed an act of kindness and I thought long and hard prior to it. The good deed did go unpunished, and in fact, was rewarding. While I was performing that deed, the thought of a similar good deed to another person came to my mind, but I didn't do it. And, I don't feel guilty about it. There is a lot of sadness and misery in the world, and, as individuals, we can but play a small part in alleviating it. In seeking to alleviate it, one must be careful not to give so much that one ends up adding to the pile of misery. "Ultimately we are first responsible for our own happiness". As someone who is prone to guilt, I am not sure I believe this statement fully. But, I do know that people prone to guilt beat themselves up a lot for not being nicer or more giving. Less sensitive souls don't give these things that much thought.