Last weekend, I caught a few episodes of the reality dating show that has captivated England this summer: Love Island. The show became so popular that even the serious press had to take it seriously. It has been analyzed from every possible angle, although a frequent theme of the articles about it is how dating is a minefield of rejections and insecurities even for pretty people. I didn't want to see what the fuss is about, I was just bored and wanted something mindless to fill the hours.
The men were the epitome of laddishness, with a wiseguy and a Mr. Universe thrown in for relief. The girls, on the whole, were nicer and more tolerable, as women generally are compared with men. It wasn't a surprise that there were no feminists, and there were a number of misogynistic quips thrown around. The one that caught my attention was by one of the female participants, which was something along the lines of "Women get very jealous, we can't help it". Interestingly, she said it soon after a male participant had blown his top off because he was jealous of a guy who was on a date with the girl he (the angry guy) had been paired up with.
He had reacted to jealousy with anger--the default male reaction to any negative event. If you smoulder in silence you are a woman, if you blow your top off you are a red-blooded male. Jealousy is associated with passivity, which is portrayed as a female trait. Anger is the quintessentially male trait. Men often take out their pain--be it anger, be it sadness--on women. They punish women because they (the men) are so bad at processing their feelings that it is easier to externalize them by lashing out at the women in your life, who are unlikely to retaliate.
The men were the epitome of laddishness, with a wiseguy and a Mr. Universe thrown in for relief. The girls, on the whole, were nicer and more tolerable, as women generally are compared with men. It wasn't a surprise that there were no feminists, and there were a number of misogynistic quips thrown around. The one that caught my attention was by one of the female participants, which was something along the lines of "Women get very jealous, we can't help it". Interestingly, she said it soon after a male participant had blown his top off because he was jealous of a guy who was on a date with the girl he (the angry guy) had been paired up with.
He had reacted to jealousy with anger--the default male reaction to any negative event. If you smoulder in silence you are a woman, if you blow your top off you are a red-blooded male. Jealousy is associated with passivity, which is portrayed as a female trait. Anger is the quintessentially male trait. Men often take out their pain--be it anger, be it sadness--on women. They punish women because they (the men) are so bad at processing their feelings that it is easier to externalize them by lashing out at the women in your life, who are unlikely to retaliate.
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