I got back to Bristol this evening. The past three months seem like a blur. Everything seemed to be happening at the same time--the summer school, ways of knowing, visa woes, the presentation, my progression report. Now, it is a return to business-as-usual, or so I hope. Which means that I will have to try to have a life outside uni. I can't keep working at breakneck pace.
And, I am looking forward to it. I think this is the freest I have ever been--both socially and intellectually--and I am looking forward to settling down into this kind of life. Yes, I could do with more friends. I am prepared to take efforts to be social without forcing myself into activities I am ambivalent about. At the risk of sounding pompous, I feel like I have a lot to contribute to the world and to the people I come across. And, I feel that I have become more secure in my solitude, which I was initially trying to run away from. I do, of course, feel lonely at times, but I also feel more open to new experiences and new people. I feel more confident of interacting on my own terms, with both kindness and self-assurance.
And, I am looking forward to it. I think this is the freest I have ever been--both socially and intellectually--and I am looking forward to settling down into this kind of life. Yes, I could do with more friends. I am prepared to take efforts to be social without forcing myself into activities I am ambivalent about. At the risk of sounding pompous, I feel like I have a lot to contribute to the world and to the people I come across. And, I feel that I have become more secure in my solitude, which I was initially trying to run away from. I do, of course, feel lonely at times, but I also feel more open to new experiences and new people. I feel more confident of interacting on my own terms, with both kindness and self-assurance.
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