Sunday, June 24, 2018

Eye Contact

The first thing I noticed when I traveled to Italy was that people don't avoid eye contact. Some of them even smile at you, even females. It felt weird to be in a place where people are not trying to actively avoid looking you in the eye. India is, of course, the opposite of England, with people sometimes openly staring at you. And if you think you can get them to stop starting by staring back at them, think again. People in Indian cities stare less though, and young girls avoid eye contact, presumably because they don't want to attract unwanted male attention.
But, in England, I often feel visible and invisible at the same time. Visible as "the other", invisible as a person. Other friends who have lived in the West report the same feeling, which is a difficult feeling to explain. It is as though people either look through you or when they look at you, there is a hint of disapproval etched into their alabaster faces. Body language can make  such a difference. The English are, of course, extremely polite and its not uncommon to hear "Please" or "Thank You" half a dozen times in a minute-long conversation. But, the politeness is usually combined with a cold body language or an artificial smile, which doesn't warm the cockles of your heart. 

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