Anniversary

Exactly one year ago, I saw my counselor for the first time and also started following Adrienne's Youtube channel for yoga. I am not big on anniversaries but this is a milestone to be celebrated. One year ago, I couldn't have imagined that life held so much possibility. While I was past the pits, the picture stilled looked bleak. Counselling and yoga lead me on a journey of self-discovery that has enriched my life beyond imagination. I was incalculably blessed to have the support of family, friends and colleagues, who, without exception, offered me only love and kindness, even if they  couldn't understand what was ailing me. 

My journey of self-discovery has helped me discover an inner kindness towards myself as well as the world. I am a better person as well as a better researcher than I was a year ago. Life is far from perfect and I am a different person than I was a few years ago. Sometimes that difference feels like weakness, especially during difficult situations that the old me would have confronted without missing a heartbeat. That old stoicism now feels like if not a lie, at least a coping mechanism that has stopped working for me. It was difficult to accept that anxiety affects me as stoicism was firmly built into self-image. But I have a healthier relationship with anxiety now as I am trying to listen to it rather than run from it. Anxiety is a peerless spur to action and  I am pretty certain I wouldn't have been able to get through the crazily busy past few months if not for occasional kicks on the backside from anxiety.