Super-likes

Dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble come with a super-like button which allows users to let one person per day know they are extra-special. If you are ready to pay, you get more super-likes.

I haven't used the super-like option yet. Why? The primary reason is pride and fear of rejection. Showing a random stranger that you are really into them when those feelings might not be reciprocated. Or worse, the opposite person might feel obliged to reciprocate to show her gratitude, thereby setting up a forced exchange which continues for an agonizingly long time before dying.The other (related) reason is pragmatic. Is it really possible to fall in love with a virtual persona? Maybe it is but I would argue that it is setting oneself up for disappointment. And, I would say it is infatuation more than love as all one has to go by are a few pictures and a snappy bio. The pictures might be photo-shopped, the bio may have been lifted from someone else's profile or off the internet. I prefer to reserve the term 'love' for flesh-and-blood human beings that one has actually spoken to. I believe one-sided love exists but not with a virtual persona--someone you have never talked to or seen in person.

I have been dating online long enough to know that they only way to avoid frustration is to hedge you investment i.e. not to take it too seriously. People can be unbelievably fickle in the virtual world as it unsurprisingly easy to ghost someone you've never met. Conversations start enthusiastically but fizzle out without warning, promising matches never message back. In such cases, it is natural to feel disappointed but  important to keep in mind that it is the nature of the mind to build up the image of a new acquaintance in breathtaking detail. The fewer the actual details available about the person, the more scope for our imaginations to go into overdrive. And imaginations of dreamers like us are always skewed towards romance

I don't mind to sound unduly pessimistic. I have met some lovely people online, whom I now count as friends. There have also been romantic prospects that didn't work out because I was going away or the other person was. All I am saying is it is best to treat online dating as a way to meet people and nothing more. What might result spans everything from non-acquaintance to friend to long-term romantic partner. But, it is best not to get carried away. Or, to get carried away, enjoy the flight of fancy but to remember to come back to earth.