How long does it take for someone to become a friend? I was at a Meetup event for foreigners in Bristol this evening and was asked by a newbie whether I ever hung out with someone I had met at a Meetup event. I replied I didn't although that is strictly not true. I met my Italian friend M at my first Meetup event and we hit it off, seeking each other out at the end to exchange numbers. We have met numerous times since. But coming back to the point, I have struck a rapport with a few others at Meetup events but we never made it to the exchanging numbers stage. I don't know why. I wouldn't have minded hanging out with most of them, but making the first move seemed too much of an effort and not worth the risk of rejection. I suppose making new friends is a less anxiety-causing version of dating. There are people you clearly like and you don't mind making the first move either because you know they feel the same way or because they are worth the risk. With others, it is a slow-burning fire. You leave it to fate to throw you together again and make you friends if it chooses. You don't take fate in your own hands. And, you hope you will meet someone with whom you don't have to do the dance of decorum to get close. People who kindle a light in you. Such people are few and far between. But they are worth wait.
P.S. The newbie and I got along quite well, but didn't exchange numbers.
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