What a way to resume blogging! We got back from a family holiday late last night and I promptly fell sick. I have been under the weather a couple of times over the last year, but never sick-sick. My healthy streak has now ended and I have wounded pride to contend with.
One a positive side, I couldn't have picked a better time to fall sick. We are done with all our travelling and I can afford to take a few days off to recuperate before I begin the Mumbai leg of my research. And, I would much rather fall sick back home in India so that I don't have to deal with the National Health Service in the UK, with its harried doctors and two-week-long GP waiting queues.
Of course, for me, falling sick in India means I have to deal with some baggage. I have had the dreaded dengue fever twice before, and the second time (in 2016) it was the harbinger of my troubles. Until I was physically healthy, I could get away with ignoring the gathering clouds in my mind. Once my body caved, there was nowhere to hide.
I have resolved my mental issues, and I am confident that sickness won't trigger anything in the top storey. But I was in pretty good shape till yesterday and the fear that the sickness will set me back by weeks or months on the fitness front, is everpresent. On the other hand, I have gone for as long as four years without exercise even though I am a fitness fanatic, due to an unknown health condition which I later realized could have been anxiety. I don't claim to have had a very difficult life, but when you see challenges you have faced before, you have the confidence that you will be able to put yourself back again even if they break you.
I also have two tools that I didn't have during challenging times in the past--writing and, once I begin to recover, yoga. I have a feeling that this illness, however, long or short it is, will be easier than those in the past.
One a positive side, I couldn't have picked a better time to fall sick. We are done with all our travelling and I can afford to take a few days off to recuperate before I begin the Mumbai leg of my research. And, I would much rather fall sick back home in India so that I don't have to deal with the National Health Service in the UK, with its harried doctors and two-week-long GP waiting queues.
Of course, for me, falling sick in India means I have to deal with some baggage. I have had the dreaded dengue fever twice before, and the second time (in 2016) it was the harbinger of my troubles. Until I was physically healthy, I could get away with ignoring the gathering clouds in my mind. Once my body caved, there was nowhere to hide.
I have resolved my mental issues, and I am confident that sickness won't trigger anything in the top storey. But I was in pretty good shape till yesterday and the fear that the sickness will set me back by weeks or months on the fitness front, is everpresent. On the other hand, I have gone for as long as four years without exercise even though I am a fitness fanatic, due to an unknown health condition which I later realized could have been anxiety. I don't claim to have had a very difficult life, but when you see challenges you have faced before, you have the confidence that you will be able to put yourself back again even if they break you.
I also have two tools that I didn't have during challenging times in the past--writing and, once I begin to recover, yoga. I have a feeling that this illness, however, long or short it is, will be easier than those in the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment