Airport blog, London, July 2024

As I wait for my flight to Boston, I am seated facing a conveyor belt watching people pass even though there are rows and rows of much more pleasant seats behind me. The problem is they are behind a glass enclosure. If flying wasn't unpleasant enough, Heathrow has decided to restrict access to seats besides departure gates to passengers departing from that gate, at least in this terminal. No more can you wander around until you find a quiet corner next to a gate that is not being used. But, at least where I am seated has a lot of natural light. 

I feel like I am supposed to be feeling more feelings before such a big move. This is a step into the unknown. I don't know if I am leaving the UK temporarily (like a on-year sabbatical) or permanently (with an immigrant visa). Not that I put much thought into it or had other options. It is either this or move back to India because as soon as I got this job, I took myself off the job market. I have been telling friends that this move is akin to pushing the reset button on my professional life, something that will get me out of my professional rut. Sometimes, resetting your computer solves the problem, but sometimes it doesn't, so its no suprise I am feeling nervous. What if I don't like the work? And, what if I hate living in the US? Guess there is only one way to find out. 

A friend last week asked me what was the one thing I wanted to change about myself. I replied that I wish I was more of a people's person. To put it more bluntly and at the risk of sounding like a jerk, I wish I didn't find most people boring. I am smart, but I have friends who are much smarter than I am who don't. Ot at least they are less judgemental and/or good at faking it. Maybe I can reinvent myself as a people's person in the US? Fake being one until I become one. My mother said used to be a shy person growing up, but her activism brought out the extrovert in her. I know there is a difference between shyness and introversion, and I feel I am more of an introvert. I don't know if one can change personalities but neither are personalities cast in stone. Surely, one can tinker around the edges? And, as I wrote yesterday, it will be interesting to see how life will be differnt in a more extroverted culture like the US.