Healthy Giving

 Some of us are more generous with our time, money and effort than others. But, there is no such thing as unconditional giving, except maybe between blood relations. Even if the recipients of our generosity do not have the means to reciprocate, most of us expect at least a minimum level of gratitude, or at least acknowledgement. It is easy to swing between feeling overly generous and resentful if we feel our generosity is not acknowledged. Or, hold the recipient of our over-generosity to unrealistic standards of behaviour, not just in terms of showing gratitude but also more mundane stuff, like their opinions, for instance. But, the point is that feelings of generosity towards someone can wax and wane, just as feelings of annoyance or guilt or any other feeling, for that matter. We may promise someone something at the peak of our generosity cycle, and then regret it when we are in the trough. I am realising that it is better not to be impulsive with offers of help when someone is talking about their problems. Best to hear them out, think and then offer to help. Or not. Someone telling you about their problems is not always a plea for help. It is sometimes just a plea for commiseration. And, even if it is a plea for help, you don't have to answer every plea.