Diplomacy

I have always grudgingly admired people who can speak their mind without bothering too much about the consequences. A few weeks ago, a colleague of mine accused another one of being corrupt during a debate about politics. I was quite taken aback but also somewhat jealous of him. As someone who avoids confrontation and prefers evasion to frankness, I admire people who speak their mind. not this friend in particular, who is a hothead, but others who are more sensible but who don't try to keep their nose out of trouble like I do. However, I realise that political beliefs are not a clear signifier of ethics and virtuosity. I wouldn't confront a colleague with right-leaning views, I would simply avoid conversations about politics with them.

Palestine Film Festival

The number of time I have signed up for cultural events in Bristol hoping for a diverse politically engaged crowd and been disappointed. Today's Palestinian film festival was no different. Old, white middle-class people made up most of the audience and the films were quite ordinary too. I know I am being judgemental when I say that that audience would have lapped up anything with the label "Palestine" stuck on it. I had attended the event not because I love movies but out of solidarity with Palestine. But, my friend was possibly one of two or three Arabs present. Yes, all such events, and those who attend them are 'performing' but it seemed like this performance was for the benefit of white middle-class Brits only. I think I am done with attending events out of solidarity (protests are a different matter). From now on, I am only going to attend events that I find interesting.
After the film festival, I was feeling lonely, so I walked up to Brandon Hill. When one feels lonely, the solution is to either find company or find solitude. I generally prefer the latter. As I walked up the deserted path to Brandon Hill in the dark, my mind went back to when I first arrived in Bristol. I would visit Brandon Hill frequently as I was often lonely and Brandon Hill was one of the few places where it felt good to be alone. I went to Brandon Hill after quarreling with my crazy landlord, who would eventually serve me an eviction notice in the middle of the night. I went there after a lackluster meeting with another PhD student. This was back when I was trying to make new friends and being repeatedly disappointed. I have long given up trying to make new friends as I have realized that I am someone who can do without  many friends.  

Encounter killing

Woke up to news that the four gangrape suspects had been shot by the police as they allegedly tried to escape from the recreation at the crime scene. No one in India doubts that it was a staged killing and many people seem to be happy about the  summary execution. In a morbid coincidence, this happened on the same day that right-wing lunatics tore down a 16th century mosque 27 years earlier, sparking a pogrom against Muslims. What explains the popular support for these killings? That it is impossible for the supporters to imagine themselves or their loved ones as victims of similar encounter killings? That their class and caste status or religion would shield them from such a fate. Elites, religious and ethnic minorities other people who are not like them in every country, but I feel like the othering reaches another level in India. Is that the legacy of the caste system? Sometimes I feel India is entering a phase of violence and barbarism that many former colonies saw immediately after gaining independence. With their old social orders mangled beyond recognition by colonialism, and with no colonial power to keep ethnic tensions under control (while at the same time fomenting them), a orgy of violence ensued as rival groups jostled for power. That  didn't happen in India because there was a (relatively) secular elite ready to take the reins from the British. That elite ran the colonial-era institutions almost exactly as the British had. That old order is finally collapsing 70 years after independence. But what might replace it could be worse.

Sigh of Relief

A grey cloud that was hanging over my head cleared today. It wasn't a major crisis but, coupled with a stressful housing situation, it was enough to get me riled up. My housing situation has changed and this other thing has gone away too. I was girding myself for it to drag on and on, so its prompt resolution comes as a pleasant surprise. Sometimes, problems can't or do not need to be solved. Sometimes, you just have to hang in there until those particular problems outgrow themselves. They will be replaced by other problems but such is life. If you are mired in a problem and wracking your brains how to deal with it, afraid you will make the wrong decision, one should ask oneself whether the decision will make a difference to your life one/three/six months from now and if it won't is it really worth sweating about. The answer won't always be no, but it often will be.

Lights Out

As I was having a shower this evening after my yoga class, the bathroom light went off. I was puzzled, and even more so, when, after a minute or so the water turned ice-cold. As it happened, I had shampoo in my hair, which I had to rinse off while bending down so that the ice-cold water wouldn’t touch my scalp.

It turned out that a fuse for one of the phases in our shared house had tripped. After talking to my housemates, I gathered that leakage from the bathroom to the room downstairs had shorted a circuit, causing the fuse to trip. So now we have to spend the night without internet, heating and, in  some bedrooms, without light. I don’t feel particularly perturbed because the property manager seems nice and considerate. Sure, it will become a major inconvenience if it doesn’t get fixed soon. But, I have a super-warm duvet and generally don’t feel the cold. Let’s see what happens.

I Miss Tesco!

I have often complained how awful the food at Tesco is. So I never thought I would say that I miss Tesco. Or, rather, I miss the Tesco that is a 5-minute walk from where I used to stay.
Moving into a new house usually requires changing supermarkets, and that is a substantial adjustment. Yes, I know, this is a first-world single health male problem. Be that as it may, I hadn't realized how much I had tailored my cooking to what was available in my Tesco, which is the largest in Bristol. Today, at the Aldi, which is a 10-min walk down a step hill form my new place, I didn't find stuff that I thought was pretty basic supermarket fare. Like Cauliflower and frozen spinach. To make things worse, they have o self-checkout tills. Yes, I know, self checkout tills are a job killer and I feel guilty for enjoying them. But, they speed things up, and reduce a pointless human interaction and make the shopping experience a little more pleasant for introverts like me. 

First Day at 46, Romney Avenue

My first day in the new house passed off largely without incident. The only surprise was to discover that the toilet doesn't have a washbasin! I will have to keep a supply of hand-sanitizer. From a functional perspective, my only complaint is that there is just one toilet and one bathroom between four people. Tonight I will find out how noisy it is at night and tomorrow morning, I will find out whether there is a peak-hour rush for the bathroom.
But on the plus side, I have enough space to do yoga and my room has two windows, one of which overlooks the backyard. This house ticks most of my boxes, but I couldn't help wonder how nice it would be to live with friends. I had two people in mind, and they were both willing, if not as enthusiastic as me. But, all of us had some complications in our life, and we swiftly dropped the idea. Or rather, I dropped it since they had never got on board completely.
One day,  I will live in a house with friends or a partner. A house that feels like a home. But, I have made peace with the fact that that might not happen for at least another year. Till then, as Adrienne reminded me today, I will try to be grateful I have a roof over my head.