Hearing That You Are Smart

 Some people need to hear that they are smart, and some people don't need to hear that. I have long realized that I am part of the latter group. Some people are prone to diffidence, some are prone to overconfidence, some wear their intelligence lightly, both in their speech and in their heads. Others wear it lightly only in their speech and even slight success can go to their heads. 

Why Not Me?

 Today, I was listening to a radio with a woman who seemed to be a bereavement consultant as well as a sociologist of dying. Her story moved me to tears, but that wasn't all. She said people who work in these kind of jobs--funeral services, palliative care, etc-- lead life differently, love differently, etc. They understand that disaster can strike at any moment and change their lives. Since they see tragedy so closely, they do not ask the question  that most people do--"Why me?". They adopt the attitude of "Why not me?". Since they have seen tragedy up close, they relish the tragedy-free moments in their lives. I know that I make them sound like saints, but I suppose they are that, or they are just crazy. To do a job like that and to not lose your mind requires oodles of emotional resilience. But, the phrase that stuck with me, was "Why not me?"., to which there is no answer. I have had the good fortune of not having to "why me" about anything other than my nagging shoulder injury. Let's see if I can adopt the "Why not me?" attitude for at least this minor problem and whether it will help me cope with grace and foritude. 

De-Stressing Jobs

 DO stress-free jobs still exist or do all jobs need to be destressed to the extent possible? I think its the latter. The destressing can be achieved either by taking specific actions, but mainly by giving less of a fuck Easier said than done, I know, and impossible to do within the first few months of a job when you are prone to make a mountain of every molehill. It takes time to tell the potential mountains from the molehills. TO figure out which rules are sacrosanct, which ones are negotiable and which ones are meant to be broken without getting caught. After that, its just a question of finding that slight bit of courage to bend/break the rules.

Happiness Is A Choice, Not a Fate

 This is what I said to a friend yesterday, who was whining about her life. It seemed trite as it came out of my mouth,  and I wasn't looking to drop pearls of wisdom. I meant it to be ironic, but I wonder if there is some use to it. Happiness is a choice. IN today's world, one doesn't have to look hard for reasons to be sad. But, there is no disaster upon you at a point in time, is it possible to choose to be happy instead of glum? To talk yourself out of a funk? I don't know if I am making a lot of sense. I guess the proof of the pudding is in the eating. If I am able to talk myself out of the blues, maybe it is a choice.

Clocks Go Forward 2022

The clocks go forward tonight, and, as is my ritual, I did the Cozy Winter yoga practice and went back to my clocks post from the past. The last post talked bout how life had not gone according to plan but had not gone too badly either. I had not finished my PhD but at least I had a job. The past five months have been challenging, to put it mildly, and the past few weeks even more so. My brush with insomnia last November, my the rise of Omicron, my own Omicron scare, the stress of travelling to India and travelling back and my poor sleep in India. And, then coping with Covid and a heavy teaching load back in the UK. I could go on and on, and I have. But, the important thing is I am still standing and I am still hopeful. Bruised but not broken. Not that there is anything wrong with being broken, and I have been broken in the past and have had to put myself together again. But, I am not broken at this point. 

Grading Research Proposals

Yes, most students don't have a clue about what they are doing and their proposals are all over the place. Yes, it sucks that I have to be the one to teach them a bit of scholarly writing. And, I have to do it without crushing their enthusiasm and their confidence. I often feel like pulling my hair out when I am grading. So, I have discovered its important to pace myself even though I can't do grading in drips and drops--I prefer to do it in one go and be done with it. 

Coping With What A Days

 Today's post, which comes after a hiatus was supposed to be about teaching. But, I am going to save it for another day. Today marks the end of my phase of heavy teaching this semester. Now comes a tsunami of grading. But, with grading, there is nothing to do but to hold your nose and carry on till you finish. Today is a cause for celebration, because I came down Covid the week before my heavy teaching phase began. The only way the timing could have been worse is if I had come down with it the week I was teaching. It manifested as the worst throat infection I have had in 14 years. The last time I had a throat infection was back in 2008 in Delhi, following which I would catch a cold every time I exercised a bit too much. I didn't work out properly for four years after that. This one, too, took ages to pass, and I finally feel well enough to go for a run tomorrow. But, yes, the past two weeks have been tough, and its not like the semester is over. But, I got through the tough patch, and I am still standing. The teaching didn't go as great as I had planned, but more about that tomorrow. The important thing is I gave it my best shot and I am done with it. And, I have also decided to start blogging regularly again. I missed blogging and how it soothes my soul.