Novels and Social Commentary

Last weekend, my book club met to discuss a book by a young English author whom some of us had also met at a book reading. The book was okay but not a very engaging read for me. I skimmed through it until I reached the climax, which wasn't bad.
In the discussion, I said the book had too much social commentary that wasn't woven into the story but seemed like it had been ladled on top. Some of the others said that that was one of  the things they had enjoyed about the book.
I like social commentary but not in my novels. A novel is a human story first and foremost. I like novels where the characters speak for themselves and don't act as conduits for the author's political views. One of favourite novels--the  Grapes of  Wrath--is unabashedly political and leaves no doubt about the author's political leanings. But the reason I like it is its a great story and the characters are rich and complex who inhabit their epoch completely. 

More #MeToo

Another day, and more allegations. I am broadly supportive of the recent movement but some of the allegations don't count as sexual harassment, much less assault, or at least not in my book. Some married men have been outed for hitting on women, with their phone conversations posted on Twitter for all to see.  Going by the screenshots, the men didn't persist after being rebuffed an neither were they abusive.
This a gray area for me. Yes, these men are powerful and in some sense were trying to exploit their power. But they didn't have direct power over the women they targeted. The thought of powerful men trying to leverage their power to score with women is not a pleasant one. But, then, are relationships across a power differential proscribed? And, if you take the power differential out of the picture, then outing these men is an act of moral policing. Attempted adultery is not grounds for public defamation. On the other hand, leveraging power for sexual gains is something only men do, or so I  imagine. Surely, this must be problematized. The thing about leveraging power for sexual gain (as opposed to, for example, leveraging looks or charm) is that one is never sure whether one is leveraging charisma that comes from the power or the implicit threat of using that power against the opposite person, if jilted.
Also, the didn't  take "No" for an answer is a tricky area. I imagine few people give up after being told No once. They persist at least for  a bit and try to convince the opposite person, and if they are half-decent they do so without threats or blackmail. So, how many NOs before you can say he didn't take No for an answer?
I was just talking to a friend from India, and he said a lot of the cases involved men being clumsy in their attempts to flirt, rather than being predatory. All I know is women in some circles are trying to renegotiate the boundaries of  permissible sexual and romantic conduct. This renegotiation will be messy and there might be some undeserving victims. It might entail powerful men having to be prepared for public shaming if they choose to leverage their power for sex.

#MeToo

The #MeToo movement has belatedly come to India and more specifically to my (erstwhile) corner of it--the English language media. Women are outing serial sexual harassers on Twitter and some publications have also carried stories about them. A few people I know of have been named. It doesn't come as a surprise to me that such men exist, but I had never imagined that their doings would come to light.  Entitlement to women's bodies seemed like an assured perk for successful males and that didn't look like it was about to change, especially not in hierarchy-conscious misogynistic India.
I don't mean to sound sanctimonious--my behaviour with women has  not always been exemplary. There have been some cringe-worthy instances and a few that I was downright ashamed of. However, I made amends in those cases, and I have always taken No for an answer.
I don't expect any of my friends to be outed as sexual predators--that would be a huge shock since all my close male friends have a lot of respect for women, or so I believe.
But the balance has shifted. Some women (in some privileged circles) are no longer prepared to pay the mental, emotional and sometimes physical price for male sexual entitlement. Maybe some cases are about men misjudging the moment rather than actively preying on women. But, why should women have to pay the cost of these men's misjudgements? Some women are demanding that men hold themselves to the same standard that they (these women) hold themselves, and there is nothing wrong with that. It might seem like a revelation  to  some men that they don't need to try to screw every women they fancy. That it is possible to be sexually attracted to someone without doing anything about it because the price--professional, personal, emotional, mental--of acting on it, for you or for them or for both, is too high. That the urge to act on every sexual urge comes from a tremendous sense of entitlement. Most of us do not manage to hook up with most of the people we fancy. That is just the way the world is.

When The Body Speaks

When the body speaks, one eventually has to listen. I have been having a troublesome physical symptom for the past few weeks and was mostly ignoring it. Its a classic anxiety symptom that I have had before, but one which could also indicate a serious medical condition. I was hoping it would go away by itself as they usually do, but its gotten worse over the past few days. So, its finally time to listen.
I have been exercising harder than usual to take my mind off the events of the past few months. That, and being busy at work has worked for the most part. But, maybe I've been pushing myself too hard on both the professional and physical front, and my personal life has been, lets just, say eventful.
Now, its time to move down a few gears on the exercise front and remove some stressors from my life. Identify what is not serving me and let go off it, as Adrienne says.
With experience, one knows exactly what to let go off, what to change and what to keep. Such situations can sometimes bring extraordinary clarity about life. When one is forced to prioritize one's well-being,what really matters and what doesn't becomes apparent. 

The PhD Talk

I gave the "What I wish I had known ..." talk for the new PhD students this afternoon. I hadn't rehearsed it enough so I forgot to say everything I had planned, but there were no major omissions. I also pulled a colleague along for the reception later. When I joined the PhD programme, I dreamed of being part of a community of scholars who were fast friends and spent many a cheery hour plumbing the depths of our  intellects. That dreamed died long ago. I get along swimmingly well with the people in my PhD room and count some of them as close friends, but we are not intellectual bedfellows. Our intellectual interests (and ideologies in the case of some colleagues) don't align as much as I would like.
I long ago gave up trying to make friends in the university outside my PhD room. When I went along to the reception I had little expectations of meeting someone whom I would hit it off with. And, sure enough, I didn't meet anyone like that. So, why did I go? Because not everything one does needs to for a particular outcome. Sometimes the act is the outcome. I strongly believe we should have a closer PhD community, and while I can't be bothered to rally the troops for this cause, the least I can do is show up and have myself counted. 

Busyness

Can busyness be learned? I don't mean the act of being busy but the feeling of being busy. Over the months, I have found myself increasingly describing myself as busy. I have exemplars such as the administrator in my graduate school who took almost two weeks to write a two-line letter for me pretending, the whole while, to be as busy as a brain surgeon. Which makes me wonder--how do people in hectic and high-pressure professions such as neuro-surgery function? Is there an innate personality difference between them and people who keep moaning about how busy they are? Or maybe busyness, like many other things in society,  is socially constructed. I feel there are people who can reject claims on their time by claiming to be too busy, such as my grad school administrator, and those who cant, such as low-paid workers. Busyness is very much a white-collar concept.  Could slaves or serfs ever get away claiming to be busy?

Distraction

When I was battling my demons, one of my biggest struggles was how to keep myself occupied. Friends and family would keep telling me that working would lift me out of the morass. I agreed, noting that my issues had surfaced during a long period of idleness. But, my boredom and my depression fed off each other lustily and I found it very difficult to break that cycle. 

It was only after returning to my studies in England did boredom finally stop being an arch-enemy. I got busy with work, and then super-busy for  few months, and although my workload has leveled off in recent months, there is still a lot to do.

I can't imagine how I would have coped with the events of the past two months if I didn't have a lot to do. I wouldn't describe my personal life or professional life at the moment as rocky, more like challenging. But I find myself able to focus well at work and be quite productive. I used to think that writing can only be coaxed out not forced out. But, I do find myself forcing it out and it seems to be working. You can romanticize the research process all you want, but at the end of the day much of it is about sitting at your computer long enough. I suppose pouring yourself into work is a time-honoured way to distract yourself from personal issues.