Words Once Said

 I had an interaction recently where I responded to some mildly inconsiderate behavior with a calculatedly cruel message. Before responding, I knew I should have probably slept on it, and I knew I would regret if I didn't, but I sent it anyway. The person immediately responded with contrition as my message accused them of being callous, but then blocked me after a few hours. I didn't realize what I had done until at least two days later and I was shocked by how I calculating I was in crafting the message to cause maximum damage even though I was in a state of agitation. Of course, it was too late to say sorry since I had no way to contact the person. Words once said can sometimes not been taken back and words can burn bridges. I briefly considered looking the person up online and contacting them to say sorry, but a friend rightly pointed out that 1) it would seem stalkerish since it was someone I had met on a dating app 2) they were probably over it since we had not known each other for long at all and 3) the only purpose of the apology would be to assuage my guilt. And, sometimes you just have suck it up and live with the guilt rather than the burden the aggrieved person with your need for redemption. But, it was a useful reminder that nice people can always behave in horrible ways. I have written before about how some people, usually men, from South Asia find it difficult to say sorry. But, it is also the case that some people behave recklessly because they can say sorry easily if they mess up. Not saying sorry or saying so sorry too easily are both problematic.