Have Nots-Vs-Haves-Vs-Have Mores

When you write about the people in your life, you have to be conscious of the possibility that they or someone who knows them might read your words. Which is why, when I do, I try to refer to them in the most oblique terms possible and stripping out all potential identifiers. But, today, I am gong to write about the people in my work life, and since I am leaving my workplace and the country soon, I am not particularly bothered. Last week, my office mate came in and told me to watch a video recording of a faculty meeting in which many of colleagues had berated our head of department. This office mate is not very involved in the department, so he was shocked by the rancour in the meeting. Apparently, academic colleagues from the same department with a research profile were to receive hefty pay increases. The pay increases for the most senior colleagues would be more than my salary. I was aghast at the knowledge, until I realised that I didn't have a dog in the fight. My colleagues with the same profile as me (teaching) but on permanent contracts had been receiving pay supplements to keep them from changing jobs, which I knew nothing about. They were angry because their pay supplements would not be increased. Yes, their anger is justified because both academic profiles are supposed to be equal on paper, and these differential pay increases enshrine the superiority of one over the other. Later the same day, I went to drinks with my colleagues. The colleague I am closest to had warned that conservation would strictly be limited to griping about the pay increases and what to do about it. I should have heeded her warning and steered clear because it was a have-not (me), listening to the haves complaining about the have-mores. To be fair to them, many of them possibly didn't know that I was not receiving the pay supplement. But, I found the conservation incredibly tedious and a tad self-involved. These are the same colleagues who have been ignoring my emails about rallies and open letters about Palestine, None of them are part of the lecturers union. None of them are shrinking violets who are incapable of speaking up for themselves against the powers that be. So, their silence on these other issues stems from indifference not fear. People who are incapable of solidarity themselves should not expect solidarity. (I know the last few sentences make me sound more bitter than I feel, and that my colleagues are no different from the majority of the population.) I felt even more like an alien in the department, and I am so glad that I am leaving. I should add that I have never negotiated for a pay increase in my life, and this is not a statement of virtue. As a male (and upper-caste, in an Indian context), I am not ill-served by existing pay structures, and having well-to-do parents means I have never had to worry about money. I am also frugal by nature (sometimes a bit too much) and I have never struggled to live within my salary. I feel angered by inequality in society and of course I am not fine with being paid less than others. But my anger doesn't have the sting that comes from personal experience of deprivation, unlike some of my friends. My thriftiness is a personality trait, and not something borne out of necessity.